Status of last year's supposed mass exodus

Is anyone honestly surprised about this? Can't say that I am.

A Word of Advice for Would-be Parents

Parents, give your kids names like these and they will eventually go to jail.

On the bright side, one of the 13 year olds will actually be able to go by the name "Mr. Mister," like the old pop group. Okay, so maybe there isn't a bright side.